On Confrontation

The other day, I got into a heated argument with your stereotypical, holier-than-thou Christian woman (not that I have anything against Christians- I definitely do not- but this is the type of person that gives Christians a bad name). In a post she wrote, tagged under “equality”, she argued that gender roles are not only beneficial to everybody, but part of nature and should be followed. Now, I wasn’t looking for a fight my any means, but I couldn’t help myself- I commented in the opposing, with the thought to bring her down a peg or two in her self-thought righteousness. It was truly frustrating, and incredibly disappointing to see someone so unable to open their minds to see viewpoints beyond their own.

I cannot say I’m proud of this; in hindsight, I quite regretted it. Nothing good came of it, I thought. All that did was instill and nourish negativity.

That’s what I thought, anyway, until I started getting numerous notifications of people liking my comments. A new thought occurred to me then: Had this argument actually done some good? Had I brightened someone’s day by arguing their side? Maybe, just maybe, some good had come of this negative exchange after all.

When people started liking my comments, it made me feel like a success- like the argument had not been in vain.

But this leaves us with the question: was that the right thing to do? Would arguing my point on issues do more harm then good? Should we purposefully get into arguments to do good, or would that just alienate people, make them even more unwilling to open their minds to other possibilities?

On this, I feel I must take into account the possible outcomes and effects on all involved parties- myself, the one I argue with, and those silent spectators.

But is this really productive? Will it actually change anything?

I don’t know. I really don’t.

Let me know what you think in the comments.

5 thoughts on “On Confrontation

  1. Due to so many factors people are very seldom swayed from their opinion by an unknown commenter. And the folks who liked your comment probably already felt the way you did but it did them some good to see someone speak out about it. I think it may be possible you helped someone but mostly you helped yourself. You had a strong feeling and you reacted. And that’s okay! You were compelled like a person who stands up for what they believe whether they can help it or not. If it made you feel badly then remember that next time – and ask yourself if it will be worth it and then you will know what to do.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. People hold on to thought patterns they already have in themselves. To change their thought pattern is surely a tough thing, but to kindly try to show them the better way, is definitely an act of a strong person: A leader. So, I think, since your motive was to do good, you shouldn’t be dissapointed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I guess it depends on how deeply entrenched some opinion is in somebody’s head. There was a study on how conspiracy theories spread in social media recently that pointed towards these ideas becoming really entrenched in the audience if they’re not immediately disputed by somebody. So I suppose there’s actually extra value in disputing untruths if your writing is going to remain there and provide seeds of doubt to future readers. As long as you have the patience to deal with all those people which I admire because I’ve lost mine.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It took me many years before I realized that speaking my opinion was, not only okay, but healthy. If you don’t express your beliefs, you start to feel like they don’t mean as much… like you don’t mean as much. So, I think it’s great in that sense, as long as you are respectful and thoughtful (which I’m sure you are – you seem like a thoughtful person from what I’ve read). As far as the “rightness” or “wrongness” of arguing for what you believe to be the greater good… That’s a question I’ve asked myself many times, and have yet to come up with an answer. I think the answer is as individual as the person asking the question 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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